Out of the dark room

I love my husband and I love my children but after a lot of late nights with the little one waking up through the night and other pressures of life I was tired and irritable and not feeling 'the love'.  I really thought I was managing, keeping my smile on whilst in public but falling apart at home.  Friday morning I'd had enough. It was the biggest fight my husband and I had ever had and I was completely shaken.  I checked out flights for NZ, looked at rentals, I was ready to pack up and go.  I cried out to God, a lot.  I was sitting in the dark room of my heart for two days.  U know what I mean? There's the lovely room, where you hangout all the time when you first meet your spouse. U paint pretty pictures of them, dream about how wonderful they are.. you get the picture.  Over time you swap from room to room. The dark room which if you spend too much time in leads to divorce, is full of every time they say the wrong thing, forget an important date and basically mess up. Thats where I was hanging out. I was looking for anything I could get my hands on for ammunition and since its been 11years you can imagine there's a lot. I'd hate to see his dark room! By the end of saturday I went into my bedroom, sat down on my bed with my laptop and started to watch a livestream from glory gatherings from the thursday night.  It didn't really matter much about what they were talking about it was more the presence of God that flowed through the screen and started to shift me on the inside.  When I stopped trying to control the situation and work it out for myself and let God take on the battle for me... guess what? Thats exactly what he did.  Gods love took over, he told the lies that had been nursing themselves in my heart to leave.  My husband walked in and I jumped off the bed , threw my arms around him and we said sorry.  From that moment when I let God take over I had release.  Every piece of pain and sadness vanished.  I have never felt this much in love with my husband before.  We've got a long way to go to being the perfect couple and perfect parents but we're a whole lot closer when Gods in the middle.  I just want to give my thanks to Daddy God who never fails me. I love his extra long arms that wrap around and protect me.  He knows whats around the corner and its in him that I trust.