Coffee, such a blessing!!

It was monday morning and I was out buying the groceries as usual. I stopped at merlo coffee to buy some beans for my coffee machine and they gave me a complementary coffee to take away.  Being close to God and leading a spirit filled life I am beginning to pick up on his quiet voice and follow his directions more and more readily.  I held the delicious smelling coffee in my hand and felt prompted to take it straight to my sisters work to give it to her.  So we piled in the car, groceries, children and I and off we drove.  We walked into the daycare centre to find her sitting in the staff room almost about to finish her break.  I handed her the coffee gave her a love and went to leave. Her boss and another staff member asked what I was doing there and I said I was just bringing a coffee in for my lovely sister.  What I didn't know was that morning my sister had been in a rush and hadn't had time for a coffee and had commented to God that she needed one. Not only was it perfect timing with her break but she had actually asked God for one, and not only that but her colleges had just witnessed Gods love through my obedience.  And it hadn't cost me a thing.  Such a simple thing for me to do that created such a blessing for others.  I encourage you to learn to hear Gods spirit talking to you.  Whether it be out shopping and you get that uncomfortable feeling inside not to buy that expensive shirt because there's one on sale just around the corner or just like me and having a thought to take a coffee to a friend.  If you can learn to trust and respond quickly to Gods voice he can lead you into so much joy and it just escalates more and more throughout your everyday living.

abortion spirit

Two months before my mum died she came to me and apologised for not wanting me when I was born.  She recalled the doctor saying she had a beautiful healthy baby girl and she was so upset believing that a baby boy would've won over my Dad and saved her marriage.  As a 15 year old I thought 'well thanks mum I was happier not knowing that but anyway I forgive you.' 19 years later I was sent a link of a women who had heard God telling her she had an abortion spirit. "You have the spirit of abortion in you because you do not value children as you ought.  You see them as a burden and something that would inconvenience your life."After reading this I started to tremble inside, there was definitely something not happy within me and so I went into my bedroom and began to pray and wait on God.  He took me back to when my mum was pregnant with me and showed me her inner secrets of her heart that I was not wanted.  From that moment on a spirit of abortion had followed me causing me to not be able to connect as I should've with my girls.  I had put it down to post natal depression and had tried to move on from it.  No matter how hard I tried to be in love with my girls, particularly my eldest there was always something missing.  I told the demon to leave and reaffirmed my forgiveness to my mum and slowly throughout the week I have noticed things in my home changing.  Its as though God is flowing all around me, his grace and mercy are teaching me to love my girls without it being hard work. He also showed me that the abortion spirit is so rampant in our day to day life.  It can be seen  in the way we so quickly and so easily give up on things when the going gets tough or when opposition comes agains us.  We abort our friendships, abort our marriages, our jobs, our churches, our commitments, our faith, even our youth are aborting their life with suicide, drugs etc.  After I had researched and the holy spirit had lead me to all this extra information about the abortion spirit I realised how much more of an effect it had on me, not just with my children.  I hardly ever would read a book through to the end, I would always be starting things and not finishing them... abortion spirit, you're no longer welcome here!  I pray that for those identifying with this now as you read that the power of God with his grace and mercy will set you free and come flooding around your life as he has mine.  I pray for freedom in your life and for his love to fill you deeply. Amen

faced fears = jet ski!!

I really love how God has this way of taking seemingly random exercises and places them together to solve a much bigger issue.  I'm talking about a few weeks ago when I wrote about fear and how I was learning to trust God in all things and remove fear from my life. Last week I shared with you about the pain of my mums death and this week God has put them together to show me how fear can steal away precious moments that ultimately should lead to joy.  You see when I met my husband he had a 701 superjet pole ski and on it he won 2nd place in Australia.  I fell in love with his passion and ability to succeed in everything he tried.  We eventually sold his ski and all toys to start our life of buying a house and cars etc.  Then children came along and with it the fear, for me, of dying and leaving my girls with no Mum.  It had so sneakily wrapped itself around me I hadn't even noticed.  I lost the adventure in me and started to fear the worst in pretty much everything.  My husband had looked at buying another jet ski and I had steered him away from it.  I had crushed him with my fear which eventually if left like it was would more than probably drive us down a very sad and boring existence full of emptiness and regret.  But our God is so great he never lets us go that far with out showing us a key or a safety line to grab.  So this is where he pulls it all together.  He pulled me out of the shadow of death and the fear of it by unveiling the hurt I was holding about Mum... last week.  He then in all his humour stops our heater timer on 7:01, then  as my husband opens his Facebook page theres a picture of a 701.  I say "thats supernatural" and have a laugh.  The very next night I was at my friends and we were soaking in Gods presence listening to music and the first thing to pop into my mind is... u guessed it.. a 701.  God very clearly showed me that my fears were stopping my husband from living to his fullness, and it was teaching my children to fear and to top it all off I was hindering myself of fun.  I went home very excited and told my husband he needed to buy a jet ski!! (wish you could see his face).  Within 12 hours he had caught up with an old friend from 10 years ago who happened to know someone bringing the exact model in from the states and they will be here tomorrow.  So not really knowing how we are going to pay for it... we have a jet ski ready for running in on saturday!!! God speed? I think so.  And the best part??? I'm free to be a child again, free to enjoy life.  To be the fun Mum I'd dreamt of being, having a go at everything and knowing that through it all God is by my side, with Angels ready to step up at any time.  No more fear for me. God has set me free!!
I found this written by Sally Miller and thought it be appropriate to share. She has paraphrased Psalm 23v4, Isaiah 41v10 and 1 John 4v18. I hope you like it.
IN TIMES OF FEAR
Don't be scared even in the shadowy places. I am God. I am in charge. Wherever you go, I'm with you - overseeing, protecting, guiding, loving. Don't panic. I am God. I'll give you strength and help, ideas and opportunities. When it seems like your safety net is fraying, I'll scoop you up in my gentle-but-calloused hands and hold you.
Remember, when you're held in My love there's no room for fear.  My love around you is so big it doesn't leave even a molecule of space for worry or anxiety.  The only time fear comes is when you think punishments ominous, nefarious shadow follows you.  I am God - a God of love.  I don't want to hurt you; I want to fulfill you through love.  Let me gently catch you, show you who you are, and who I'm making you to be: one perfected in My love.

Mum dies in tragic car accident

It's my Mums birthday today. She would've been 67.
I was only 15 years old, full of life and mischief.  Mum was taking my boyfriend and I down to stay at my  Dads for a few days of the school holidays.  We were talking about the beautiful day and the snow on the mountains and how we wouldn't be skiing that year but Mum would like to take me to Australia.  The car hit black ice on the bridge and spun out of control hitting the bank on the other side and killing my Mum.  I was flown to hospital by helicopter and when I came to my whole world came crashing down.  For me I wanted everything to stop.  I didn't want to think about living, about my future, about where I was going to live. I just wanted to go and hide, run away from it all, to be by myself so I could get my head around it and cry and cry and cry. But that didn't happen.  I was moved out of my home and into my Aunties.  Kept away from my sisters and my Dad and told to move on.  Every year on my Mums birthday, mothers day, christmas, my birthday, the date of the accident I would have a little tear, find some strength and smile through the day. Usually not saying much about how I was truly feeling to anyone. Just moving on.  This year, 19 years later it feels different.  I have cried all day. Both girls are at daycare and I'm actually on my own. I can hear God saying to me 'its ok to feel'.  Why does it hurt so much more when the walls come down and the pain is still there? It's like I have to break for God to mend me.  I'm allowed to feel hurt, I'm allowed to miss my Mum.  It's just crazy how long its taken me to understand that.  When you lose a Mum there's no replacing her, she leaves a massive gap.  But God has this way of filling in the missing pieces, he's always there with me.  He lets me cry and he gives me more than a shoulder to cry on. He wraps me in his love and gives me peace that passes all understanding.  Without Gods love, without the hope of seeing her again, I have nothing. He is my strength now, he is my hope, he is my parents, he is my best friend, he is my teacher, my comforter, my everything.