abortion spirit

Two months before my mum died she came to me and apologised for not wanting me when I was born.  She recalled the doctor saying she had a beautiful healthy baby girl and she was so upset believing that a baby boy would've won over my Dad and saved her marriage.  As a 15 year old I thought 'well thanks mum I was happier not knowing that but anyway I forgive you.' 19 years later I was sent a link of a women who had heard God telling her she had an abortion spirit. "You have the spirit of abortion in you because you do not value children as you ought.  You see them as a burden and something that would inconvenience your life."After reading this I started to tremble inside, there was definitely something not happy within me and so I went into my bedroom and began to pray and wait on God.  He took me back to when my mum was pregnant with me and showed me her inner secrets of her heart that I was not wanted.  From that moment on a spirit of abortion had followed me causing me to not be able to connect as I should've with my girls.  I had put it down to post natal depression and had tried to move on from it.  No matter how hard I tried to be in love with my girls, particularly my eldest there was always something missing.  I told the demon to leave and reaffirmed my forgiveness to my mum and slowly throughout the week I have noticed things in my home changing.  Its as though God is flowing all around me, his grace and mercy are teaching me to love my girls without it being hard work. He also showed me that the abortion spirit is so rampant in our day to day life.  It can be seen  in the way we so quickly and so easily give up on things when the going gets tough or when opposition comes agains us.  We abort our friendships, abort our marriages, our jobs, our churches, our commitments, our faith, even our youth are aborting their life with suicide, drugs etc.  After I had researched and the holy spirit had lead me to all this extra information about the abortion spirit I realised how much more of an effect it had on me, not just with my children.  I hardly ever would read a book through to the end, I would always be starting things and not finishing them... abortion spirit, you're no longer welcome here!  I pray that for those identifying with this now as you read that the power of God with his grace and mercy will set you free and come flooding around your life as he has mine.  I pray for freedom in your life and for his love to fill you deeply. Amen