vulnerability

I need to be in a place of vulnerability.  Isn't that a scary thought?  To take a look inside your heart and find boxes that have been wrapped and rewrapped and stuck way down deep in a corner somewhere with a few nasty walls and hedges around them.  We all have them. A Dad that didn't live up to standard, a friend that was always going to be there and then just left, a teacher that picked on you, a church that didn't encourage your endeavours... the list goes on and on.  We have these hurts and instead of giving it to God who covers all sin we package it away and try to forget they exist.  Having these boxes and holding on to the pain leaves us with hard shells.  For years I have become hardened to seeing families with loving dads. My dad was pretty much removed from my life when my parents divorced at the age of 10.  He was still around but the childlike heart of adoring him was cut short.  I was jipped of my dream of growing up with a 'normal' family and it hurt to watch others that still had it.  I hardened my heart, boxed up the pain put a few walls around it and moved on.  Only to find that its really hard to accept Gods love when I can't accept my Dad's.  To be vulnerable is to open the box and let God in there to heal.  To be vulnerable is to cry when I hurt, whenever, wherever. It's the vulnerable heart that lets others in close. It releases pain in others so they can find healing too. Take a moment, put on some soft music and open your heart to God.  He will find the boxes and take you on a journey of unravelling and healing. All you have to do is ask. Ask and receive.